Breast Cancer

My most defining moment occurred in the spring of 2004, a few months after my second divorce became final. My mother called to inform me she had been diagnosed with stage 3-4 breast cancer. I was shocked. She didn’t have any of the classic risk factors for breast cancer. My mother just turned 61, she was the mother of 9 kids, never took birth control or smoked and didn’t have a family history of cancer.

This cancer diagnosis shook up my family. All of my siblings came together to care for my mother. She decided to not take the traditional western medicine route. Instead, she wanted to control her cancer more naturally. To her, that meant saying no to the surgery to remove the lumps, radiation, and chemotherapy. Her attention turned to everything she could control. She was obsessed with what her alkaline level was and she would not eat meat, sugar or any food item with yeast in it. She saw chiropractors and energy workers for treatments. For the most part, these choices made her happy and her quality of life was better than those undergoing chemo.

Support

I took to this information and example by mother, like a fish to water. I love learning, especially about things that empower me to better my own health and the health of my children. To support my mother I followed her diet, although it resulted in unhealthy weight loss for me. During this time I also vowed to never drink another Diet Coke. Years earlier I consumed about 96 ounces daily and desperately wanted to reverse the effects it had on my health. To this day I have seen the benefits of ending my Diet Coke habit and consider it to be one of the best choices I’ve made for my health.

Coping

My mother passed away just 7 months after her diagnosis. I felt alone, scared and, quite frankly, I felt pissed off. A huge part of me was gone and no one could have prepared me for this. I felt so alone. Some days I wanted to die, because it would have been a relief from the pain I felt daily in my heart. I was scared for my own future with this disease that takes so many women’s lives. 

Through all of this, I kept asking, “Why me?” God took my Mom when I was finally feeling like I had a great relationship with her. This was one of the toughest things to happen in my life and I didn’t even have a supportive man by my side. Breast cancer took her despite everything she did to lessen her risk.

Eventually, I turned to music to help me cope. Every day I listened to two songs, both of which talk about flying. When you think about the concept of a person flying, you generally are flying alone. I was learning to fly alone. My mom was gone and I was left without a best friend or spouse to lean on. This forced me to find the strength inside myself that I didn’t know I had. The most defining moment in my life was when I realized I had the strength to go through these heart-breaking events.The thought that this experience would prepare me for more painful times scared me. We all know that life can be difficult and you define your life by your attitude and perspective. I choose happiness and joy and when life throws me curve balls because of this experience.

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